He Knew
by phelipa
Summary: He Knew, Long before anything had happened. Post 1.20 Love HurtsHouseCam


Disclaimer: I don't own House of the Characters, merely borrowing them

Rating: PG

Summary: He Knew. Even before she told him, he knew. (After 1.20 "Love Hurts" The one with House and Cameron's date.) HouseCameron

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He Knew

"_You cry out in your sleep - all my failings expose  
There's a taste in my mouth, as desperation takes hold  
Just that something so good just can't function no more  
When love, love will tear us apart again"_

"_Love Will Tear Us Apart"_

_- Susanna and the Magical Orchestra_

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He knew. Long before anything had happened, he could see it in her eyes. As they ate dinner she would glance up at him and give a shy smile. He could see the adoring glances she shot him through the course of the meal. Maybe that's why he'd been a bastard, he'd tried to push her away before she'd gotten too close…before she'd done something drastic. Even so, he'd known that the date would turn into something more. And he'd been right.

Though the words had seemed to sting, they didn't daunt her spirit and true to his prediction they'd ended up in be later that night. As she'd lain next to him, with flushed cheeks and heavy breaths, she'd whispered the words he'd known she would say,

"I love you."

He'd known the next time as well. He'd noticed the panicked expression she wore every time he entered a room. He'd seen her dart for the bathroom when the smell of coffee drifted through the hallway, and he'd watched her check her day planner over and over again in confusion, as if she'd been looking or waiting for something. He'd seen the slight swell in her cheeks and abdomen, and the drawn, sick look she wore until about noon.

So when she'd come to see him days later, it had been no surprise. Her face was pale and worried but he'd known for days what she was going to tell him. She'd told him to sit down, before sitting herself. He'd noticed her hand unconsciously flutter to her abdomen and rest there as the words escaped her lips.

"I'm pregnant."

And then he'd watched. He'd watched her belly expand, forcing her into maternity tops and larger lab coats. He'd seen her grow out of morning sickness and into cravings, bringing dill pickles and raspberry sorbet ice cream to work. Though he wouldn't have anyone know of it, he'd invited her to move in and she had accepted. He'd taken to waking up late at night and resting his hands on her belly, feeling the tiny being within her move ever so slightly. At work, though he received knowing looks from Chase and Foreman, they never acknowledge his being the father.

He'd attended only one appointment with her, the last one before her delivery, just to ensure that his baby girl was alright. He'd watched in amazement as his daughter appeared on the screen, moving angrily under the pressure of the ultrasound wand. Cameron had looked up at him as the baby's heartbeat resonated through the room and reached out, squeezing his hand. She'd smiled briefly and said,

"I told you, she's perfect."

He'd known before she had, that she'd gone into labor. He'd watched her sleep, moaning quietly and shifting positions in an attempt to relieve the pressure. He'd rested his hand on her belly, feeling the baby kick and her uterine muscles ripple under his touch. When she had woken, she'd been angry and scolded him for not waking her. The anger had dissipated as a contraction had tightened around her body, forcing her to demand to be taken to the hospital.

He'd watched her sweat and pant, moving frequently to try and relieve the excruciating pain. He'd helped her focus on the task at hand, and when she'd claimed to be too weak he'd contradicted her, telling her she could keep going. He'd let her grab his hand, shattering almost every bone, as she'd been instructed to push. And then he'd watched as the teary eyed brunette delivered their daughter. As she took the tiny body in her trembling arms she'd looked up at him and said,

"She's here Greg, Ava's here."

He'd spent the night in the recovery room with Cameron and his daughter, standing guard over both of them and fending off curious hospital staff as the two slept peacefully. He'd watched awkwardly as the two of them tried unsuccessfully to breast feed for the first time, but he'd taken the baby afterwards without complaint. As he'd cradled the tiny baby skull in one hand she'd looked up at him with his own big blue eyes and he'd felt his heart soften just a tiny bit.

When they'd left the hospital he'd helped reluctantly with the midnight feedings, but a tiny part of him was glad she'd asked for the help. They'd both become exhausted together, snapping occasionally over the tiniest things. But the tiny being they'd both created had always brought them back together. He'd watched his daughter sprout soft brown curls and he'd turned to his better half and said,

"She looks just like you."

As the baby grew into a young child, he'd watched her like a hawk. He'd taken to tending to scraped knees, colds and dozens of other ailments. They'd begun to bring her into the hospital and she loved trailing around after them, watching them work. Though Cameron tried to put her in the hospital daycare, he'd go in ten minutes later and rescue his daughter, bringing her up to his office and feeding her lemon suckers.

He'd caught Cameron looking at him several times in disbelief, but he'd simply shrugged, babies changed people. Not than anyone but Ava and Allison benefited from this change. Nope, he reserved all of his new found happiness for them. One evening he'd crept into her room and sat next to her, watching her sleep. He'd rustled his daughter's hair softly as she slept and whispered,

"Love you baby."

He'd known something was wrong when he noticed the first symptom. She'd been sitting in his office, sucking on a lemon candy and telling Chase about some baby ducks she'd seen outside. He'd looked over to snap at Chase and tell him to move his lazy ass, but something else had caught his eye. A slight tremor in Ava's left leg. He studied her for a moment before calling her over. As she rose, the tremor stopped and he breathed a small sigh of relief. He'd decided to observe her carefully but refrained from telling anyone else his suspicions.

Days later, he'd woken up to the sound of Cameron bolting from the bed, tossing the covers over to his side of the bed. He'd rose instantly and tailed her as she made her way briskly to their daughter's room. They'd found her sobbing quietly, clutching her head, claiming to have a headache. The following day she'd been admitted to the hospital, and as he'd looked at the MRI report with Wilson he trailed the blurry outline with his finger and confirmed the diagnosis,

"It's cancer."

He'd stayed by her bedside day and night, with Cameron at his side. They'd watched her lose all of her auburn curls as the rounds of chemo began, an attempt to gain control over the aggressive brain tumor. He'd bought her a light pink bandanna and fit it snugly over her bald head. She'd smiled widely and patted her own head, dubbing it pretty. He'd escorted her mother from the room before she could dissolve into a mess of tears. He'd tugged her into a closet and embraced her tightly as she wept, staining his shirt with tears. Only when she'd calmed, did he leave to ensure his daughter was alright.

He'd watched her condition deteriorate rapidly as the tumor grew. He'd sat with her through the tremors and spasms, through the violent seizures. He'd fought back his own sadness and horror in an attempt to save her a few moments of happiness. He'd even allowed Chase and Foreman to enter the room, bearing gifts and a few moments peace for the exhausted parents. He'd taken Cameron home for a few hours and attempted to comfort her as she buried herself in pillows, sobbing uncontrollably. He'd crawled into bed next to her and for the first time in years, he'd wept openly. Cameron had turned to him and softly murmured,

"I'm scared."

He'd watched her interact with the other children and make friends with the other cancer victims. One in particular caught his eye, a young girl named Meg. She and Ava seemed to form a tight bond. He'd watched them play together and have the most serious conversations two six year olds could have. He and Cameron rejoiced in the fact that their daughter had found a source of happiness in the darkness.

He'd returned one day from taking a shower, expecting to find Meg and Ava making bracelets or having "tea". Instead he found Cameron cradling a weeping Ava, who clung to her in terror. He dropped the bags he'd brought and hurried to their side, demanding to know what had happened. Allison looked up at him with tears in her own eyes and said,

"Meg died this morning."

He'd known when his own daughter's time had come to an end. He'd sat up with her that morning, telling her a story that he'd made up all by himself. She'd listened quietly, IV and oxygen lines running in and out of her body. When he'd finished, she'd thrown herself at him, wrapping her tiny arms around his neck and squeezing tightly. She'd looked at him square in the eye and said, "Daddy, I love you to China and back." He's unconsciously let a tear drip over his weathered cheek as he said, "Ava, I love you to the moon and back."

He'd stood back as the little girl turned to her mother and squeezed her tightly, telling her how much she loved her. He'd watched as Cameron wept openly in front of their daughter. They'd both crept into her bed, letting her curl up between them, looking exhausted and completely drained.

He'd planted kisses on her tiny, bald head as Cameron clutched her hand. The following afternoon, at 2: 34, he'd watched as their daughter slipped away peacefully. She simply seemed to drift into a deep, eternal sleep. He'd watched as Cameron dissolved into hysterics, clinging to the tiny, lifeless body. As the doctors entered, turning of the beeping monitors he rose and pressed a hand to her shoulder. She'd shaken her head but he'd said,

"Allison, it's not her anymore. We've said our goodbyes."

And now, as he watched their daughter being lowered into the ground, he clutched Cameron's hand and listened to her sob quietly. As a few tears escaped his stronghold, he wished that he knew one more thing,

He wished he knew how to cope.

_Fin_

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End file.
